It's the Tale!
by Midnightflavoblaze
Summary: There is a tale to be told, and spread all over Atlantis. Gossipy Crew members, one doctor, one of a pissed off Ronon, and two teammates in the doghouse...but why and what happens next? You'll just have to hear it for yourself! One-shot.


AN: Hi, readers. It's been a while since my last story. I don't know why, but I have just been busy with work and little play. Even now I should be sleeping instead of writing this; I have to get up in less than 3 hours to go to work. That doesn't excuse it, but it's what I have. So should I just say some "thank you for reading and please reviews?" Oh, thank you! And please Review!

AN2:This idea orginaly popped in my head when I was flipping through channels, and after a whole year of sitting on it, I decided to write it.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to SGA or any referenced work below. I just liked to play with their toys. I do own Lt. Feriman and the idea of "Sivo" beers.

* * *

Jennifer was still chuckling when she entered the cafeteria. She scanned the tables to find her friends for her amazingly-rare lunch break. When she spotted Marie and Evan, who had her lunch already, she approached them, still with a wild grin.

Knowing Jennifer ended her shift with treating the marine training team that Ronon's teaches and the big man himself, Marie smirked and asked with hopeful anticipation, "Oh my. What has our little angel of mercy done to get that devilish smirk?" and then with a new, and slightly wicked-woman light in her eyes, she gleefully questioned, "Perhaps something too vulgar and delicious for our little baby Evan to hear? Don't worry I'll cover his ears while you give me the 'gory' and hopefully _enjoyable_ details." Making a move to do just that, her secret crush/best friend Evan quickly shooed her off, but ever the protector of his girls (especially since his mind was going down the same path…but hey, they have been waiting for 'Renn' as Marie called them to happen for a while, so give him a break) he had to ask a similar question. "So you saw Ronon then?"

When she was finally able to get a word in edge-wise, she had lost most of the crazy grin—being barraged with questions by her friends since she sat down, and then turning red at Marie's questioning and then even redder at Evan's, can do that to a conservative girl like Jennifer—but then she remembered the subject that made her be at the mercy of those questions, and her smile came back full force. Mischievously, she inquired to her nosy friends, "what? No 'hi Jenn'? It's just 'give me the gossip'…and NO I didn't do anything with Ronon, I didn't even see him."

Ever the stickler for details, for being a nurse that trait is pretty important, Marie replied, "I didn't say you did _anything with Ronon_. Do we need to have some more girl-time later?" Evan knew there was hope now…finally. Perhaps soon he could stop getting beaten so badly when he was training with Ronon… alien men couldn't be that different from Earth men with taking out their frustrations where a girl was involved…or wasn't involved yet.

The blush was back quadrupled, and Jenn quickly changed the subject, "so do you want to know something funny?"

"YES!" came back the unanimous decision.

She continued, "I heard from the marines in the first platoon that today, before their time with Ronon, was a training session with John and Rodney."

"Ok…? Anything physical with Rodney tends to not go well, we all know that. Even Evan knows _that_." Marie trailed off, ignoring Evan quick 'hey' at her barb. "So what's so funny about it…did he split his pants or something? I didn't think you would find something so juvenile so funny—the jarheads, yes, but not you." At Evan's silence at the second bard, Marie looked at him questioningly.

"Air force" was his short reply. Marie shook her head at being thwarted. Evan decided to get this conversation back on track, "so, Jenn, what was so funny about their training session?"

Blowing out a breath in annoyance at her friend's hyperactive gossip tendencies, Jenn finally got to the heart of her story, "well apparently it when a little long. The marines got the gist that Ronon was pissed about something right when they walked in the door, but I only pieced it together when Rodney and John came in belly-aching about their wounds and wouldn't say anything when I was nearby. However I heard with my doctor's ears," both she and Marie shared a look of mutual amusement and Evan winced—a reaction from a bad memory being on the receiving end of that ability, "and I heard them complaining about never building up something like that for Ronon ever again."

"What did they build-up so much anticipation in Ronon that he mercilessly tanned their hides in training?" Marie wondered.

Jenn leaned in, and conspiratorially whispered, "It's something that they told him proves people superiority in battle, and was a favorite tv event for years that many people trained for and some even planned their time to watch it."

Tired of being kept in suspense, Marie and Evan nearly yelled, "WHAT?!"

"It's the intense fighting show…Jeopardy!"

Silence. One blink. Two blink. "Seriously?"

Jenn reclined in her plastic chair at the end of her tale, "yep. Apparently Ronon doesn't react well to being let down. He thought it was about real battle and being put in perilous situations of the physical kind, not the mental. I bet John and Rodney won't do something like that again."

Marie shook her head in defeat, "Men." At Evan second 'hey' exclamation, Marie dismissively said, "You're not included of course."

"Ok. Then," came from a pacified Evan.

Marie couldn't resist, "because I don't included you in men category at all, _girlfriend_."

"Hey!" he exclaimed, and both Marie and Jenn laughed at Evan's disgruntled offended man-pride face.

After settling down, Marie continued, "Anyways, I doubt they learned their lesson. I bet they will probably do it again next week."

Evan decided that Jenn's tale was concluded and to stay with the light-heated trend of lunch, started, "Now after that let down of a story, I have one to tell you. Did you hear about the mini-purple shark that Lt. Feriman from SGA-07 almost got eaten by on their last mission?"

* * *

Somewhere else in Atlantis…

"I bet it's all over Atlantis by now," John said taking a swig of his beer. "Man, another thing to live down."

"You do know that it is against medical advice to drink alcohol while injured, right?" came the sharp reply from his teammate.

Rolling his eyes and then wincing at the pull of his butterfly bandage on his split eyebrow, John evenly replied "Yes, Rodney. I know. Alcohol is a blood thinner, so it is not good to have with open wounds. Whatever. Sometimes a man just needs a beer."

"Give me one." Rodney demanded with an open hand. When he saw John's surprised look, he continued "and don't even start."

Holding his hands up in defeat and passing one to Rodney, John deflected, "wasn't going to say a word."

The two teammates had a mini pity party for a while, 'convalescing' their wounds-both physical and mental from their large alien warrior friend. With several Radek-made "Sivo" beers, hearty alcohol five times stronger than even a Bavarian beer, in their systems and bemoaning Ronon's seemingly extreme reaction to another Earth item, one could only expect the following thoughts from two Mensa level geniuses fighting for humankind's existence on a floating city in another star system.

Slightly slurring, John again pondered the event that lead them to this point, "Something like that—the slight misnomer of a TV SHOW—wouldn't have affected him so much if he and Jenn finally get together…", he paused to take another swig, "I know what will help him, like any normal male-from Earth or otherwise." He stopped again, to look at his now empty bottle. John then placed it in the triangle he was making on the floor—a bowling pin set of empty glass and stupid ideas to come.

"What is it?" the smartest man in two solar systems asked from his prone position on top of an Atlantis console that probably held the answer to his life's work.

With determination to grab a real bottle from doubles he was hallucinating, John doesn't answer right away. However when he gets his prize, and high off of that small victory, he exclaims "we are champions of the universe and we need to act like it, especially in this dire situation…Tomorrow begins Operation: Get Ronon laid!"

"Cheers to that!"

Even in another solar system, alcohol and men's pride can lead to disastrous and hilarious events, but that's another tale to overhear in the medical wing. Oh... and you'll definitely here it there.

* * *

AN3: A bonus point to the person who knows about the reference to the strength of Bavarian beer.


End file.
